The Power of Forgiveness
08 March 2012
By Marissa Phelps: I still remember the fresh and invigorating atmosphere that surrounded us that night. It was truly a beautiful evening in Saposoa, Peru, a small town located in the jungle. I was part of a ministry team from the USA and that night we happened to be showing the Jesus film in the main plaza. Many people had gathered to watch this film and we were happy to see such a great turn out. While the people watched, we prayed for God to open up their hearts and move them to come to Christ.
As we were praying, I noticed a young girl seated alone watching attentively. Her face gave her heart away. She looked tired and lost. When the movie finished I noticed she stayed around but didn’t show much interest in talking or praying. I sat close by and watched as the Spirit moved in her heart as we struck up a conversation. We started by talking about her family situation. From there I really didn’t know where our conversation was heading but I could see God’s hand so I sat back to watch, listen and wait.
Little by little she started opening up and pouring out her heart. This young girl was living with her aunt and uncle who openly and cruelly rejected her. They constantly humiliated, neglected, mistreated and put pressure on her hoping that she would run away and leave them alone. She was at the end of her rope and it was obvious that her heart was carrying a heavy burden of resentment and anger against her relatives. Her mother had died several months before our conversation. Her father had taken her to her aunt’s house and abandoned her there. It was obvious to me that she was still grieving the loss of her mother, the abandonment of her father and the rejection of her relatives. (An amazing amount of baggage for a young girl to carry.)
I must say that I did not know how to counsel and comfort her. Her pain and needs were overwhelming for me as well. I listened to every detail while I prayed for God to affirm His love to her. As our conversation and prayers went on, and many tears were shed, God started to break through the layers of her heart. God was taking her from a place of resentment and anger to a place of forgiveness and freedom.
Although this young girl was a Christian , I could see that her deep pain and the anger she felt towards her relatives, father and circumstances were taking her further and further from God to a very real place of isolation and despair. But God’s plan for her was different. He was offering her grace and compassion in order to prepare her heart to forgive.
God was preparing her to forgive as an act of obedience and trust in Him in order to move her a step closer toward inner healing and peace. God wanted to free her so that he could fill that empty place with His love and compassion.
As we were praying, God gave me a clear picture of his love for her. He gave me a picture of a terrible storm at sea where there was no hope in finding refuge. As we talked about this picture I told her that there was a light shining through the storm. God was saying to her: “Your eyes are fixed on the storm and you have missed the light shining through the storm. The light is Me-fix your eyes on Me. You will see the storm begin to calm as you come to me.”
It is truly only God that can walk us through our grief, pain and anger to take us to a place of forgiveness and healing. It is when we forgive those who have inflicted pain on us that we allow the Holy Spirit to bring us to a place of spiritual freedom to experience God’s healing and restoration. It goes without saying that what this young girl was going through was not fair. She had done nothing wrong to deserve so much pain. But isn’t that what Christ went through for us? Dying for us on the cross? Only He can enable us to forgive and help us to walk in that forgiveness. Certainly forgiving others often comes with a cost. Self-denial and “giving up our rights” are things that we must learn in order to forgive and be free.
As I reflect on this story, the life of Joseph comes to mind. He suffered under the rejection of his brothers, but always remained faithful to God even in the hardest times. He was able to extend forgiveness and compassion to his brothers only because God’s love enabled him to do so.
How important it is for us to provide for children the affirmation and support they need in order for them to forgive those who may have caused them so much pain, and then to trust God for their future. I don’t know how soon this girl’s circumstances changed after we left but I was comforted with the fact that she went back to her church and renewed her relationship with Christ. I truly believe that she started to experience the abundant life of joy and compassion that God was offering her. Why do I say this? I saw the change in her face!
God can enable us to see our lives in the light of his eternal perspective and plans for us if we trust him. My prayer is that my friend will learn that God’s plan for her life is not to harm her but to give her hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
Personal Biography: Marissa came to the States from Mexico in 1997 to attend Asbury Seminary in Wilmore, KY where she graduated with an M.A. in Missions and Evangelism and a second degree In Christian Education.
During her time in seminary she also served with GO International as their Children’s ministries coordinator. With a realization that God had called her to serve in missions with a special burden for children in crisis, Marissa went back to Seminary and graduated with a second degree in Christian Education.
In the past 8 years Marissa has served children by focusing on training indigenous church leaders in the importance of ministering to children on the local level and she wrote a training manual for this purpose. Marissa has recently joined CCTI with a passion to serve children in crisis as God leads.
Marissa is married to Dan Phelps, who graduated from Asbury with a Master in Divinity and Music. They have two daughters: Abriel who is 6, and Haylie who is 2. They are expecting their third child in January 2011.
Dan, Marissa and their two daughters currently live in Artesia, NM where Dan serves as pastor of The First Presbyterian Church.
